Eff you motherfather...I just need to vent

Ha. I couldn't live with myself swearing as my post title...I'll leave that for the body of the blog.

SO. I am friends with my ex (I know, I know...but it's not like it seems, my husband, son and I have all gone to dinner with him a couple of times.) and we were talking on the phone the other day about our relationship and why it didn't work out.

side note: I asked him questions to figure out if it was me, and stuff I did wrong, so that I can improve myself for my husband...I just feel like I am too hard on him and I figured my ex was a good enough friend that he would tell me what the fuck's up so that I can better myself for my husband. WRONG

So anyway...let me preface this venting by saying that when we dated I was 20 ish and he was 33 ish...so now more of this should make sense.

The talk we had was complete bullshit. All he did was basically tell me that it was my immaturity that was why it ended. When I say immaturity, I mean like not knowing what I want to do with my life, changing my life goals constantly, overdramatizing things ever-so-slightly, you know...standard stuff you do when you're TWENTY.

So after realizing that was a waste of time, I switched to bitch-mode and was like, "Look, you were the most draining, most condescending person I was ever around, I was constantly on egg shells around you because you are so judgmental...etc etc blah de blah...so that is why I ended things with you."

His response, "What? You didn't end things, I did."

Dude, don't flatter yourself...I was a 20 year old little hottie and you were 34 and balding. Please don't act like you ended things.

So I cracked up and replied, "uhhh...no you didn't."

Then he replies, "Well, I can see it still bothers you, you're obviously getting all upset with me."

::more laughter::

Really, dude? Is that why I am married to a gorgeous man who loves me more than you are capable of loving? And why we have two beautiful children and have been together happily (with our struggles of course) for almost 3 years and married for over 1 year? Because I am upset that our relationship ended? Please build a bridge and get over yourself, because last time I checked, youre the 30-something that still isn't married. Thanks.

Now, normally it is not in my veins to be this big of a bitch, but his arrogance totally called for "Bitchney" to unmask herself.

Not only that, when I told him of my aspirations to be an air traffic controller he said {I just dont see you doing that, I know a lot of controllers and you just don't have that personality} Thanks asshole.

Then he said "Well I am just trying to be a real friend, not one of your other friends that pushes you to do something you won't succeed in!...You don't think I want you to be successful? I do! But I want you to avoid wasting your time, so that's why I am telling you this."

I ended the phone call shortly after that. Don't think we'll be chatting much anytime soon.

So kids, the moral of the story is...don't surround yourself with anyone that is negative. Or retarded for that matter. Because I have many friends, guys and girls, that I have never have confrontations like this with...

Okay, thats all for my bitching for now...

LOVE!!!
-B

I don't get it.

I just have one question. One thought for the day.

Why do bad things happen to some of the greatest people?

Furthermore, why do amazing things happen

to those who surely don't deserve it?

I know everything happens for a reason,

but why must there be a dark tunnel and

the light at the very end of it?

And why does the light sometimes

take so long to reach?

I guess I will have to just stay positive!!

What else can I really do?

"Reality is the mirror of your thoughts. Choose well what you put in front of the mirror."

-Unknown

I wouldn't even take time to read this.

"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Leonardo Da Vinci

(I just watched a plane like this take off..it was AMAZING. Thanks airliners.net)

So. Update from last post. I started a new job. It's not in aviation. Boo!

BUT I surprisingly like it a lot. It's an awesome company, they treat their employees well, have amazing benefits, and most employees there are lifers, which says a lot... :-)

My second job IS in aviation , and it is AMAZING. It sucks being away from the hubby and kiddos every other weekend, but I have to tell you - its almost therapeutic being here and getting to watch planes take off. Now, for the most part I don't see that many jets...but the ones that I do are amazing to watch take off. I even love listening to the controller talk to the planes on the ground and in the air! Ugh..I need to stop. It's making me sound like a loser!

People who arent in aviation don't understand how hard it is to get out of the industry ..so that fact that my job IS outside the industry, you would think I would be relieved that I was able to get out!! And I am...Monday through Friday. It is so nice not having to work 6-2 or 2-10, or 9-5, but then you have to be on call once a week and work holidays and weekends. But then I get here on weekends, and it makes me hate my first job all over again.

Here is what makes me a crazy person:

Regular job:

-No Crazy Hours

-No on Call

-No Shmoozing people

-No lying to passenger's wives about the women their husbands are flying with

-No weekends (for the most part)

-No holiday work

-Amazing benefits

-6k/year toward tuition

-They take care of and show constant appreciation for their people.

My Aviation Jobs:

-Crap hours, with overtime if a plane is leaving early or coming in late

-On calls

-Holidays

-Having to cover for shady, lying passengers

-I have only worked for one company that really acknowedged my hard work and love for the job (Thank you MB)

-Unless you work for a company like Boeing or Bombardier (which I used to) you ain't gettin no tuition reimbersement

It all makes sense on paper...why cant I get it through my head?!

That's it for my rants... :)

-B

PS. I apply for Air Traffic Controller in January. We'll see how that goes. :)

PPS There is a customer at my work that has a plane like this:

It is my goal to become their friend and go for a ride!! Can we say barrel rolls?